Braces

okay, so the bottom row wire came out on one side. i wanted to take it out all togeher since it always omes undone when I eat, but it was twisted in on the other side. so i fixed it back as best i could for maximum comfort during the walk home. when i walked home i took my scissors to it to try and untwist it, but the bracket came off, thus ridding me of the wire, but now i have TWO empty spaces on the bottom row and no wire.... the brackets aren't very comfy, either. I just want to take out the rest of the regular brackets, the undone wire on my top row, and those few brackets that are still left and leave them out. that way, when I go to the orthodontist, if ever... all they'll have to do is take out the things that are on my molars. i would rather get permission from my mother to do this, but i'm tempted to do it now. i won't. but i will beg and plead with how uncomfortable i am, and how i've been waiting forever, and how she said i could get them off, so why not? hopefully it'll be a yes.

on a lighter, more fun note: when i stick my tongue in between an empty space - the spot where i have no bracket between two other brackets - it feels like how it feels when you lose a tooth. anyone remember that? the squishiness? right along the gums. i can't wait to pull these off.

ol fashion'd

i'm the girl, i dun wanna say i love you first... & i dun wanna rush feelings, or push them out before they're ready. but mine are here and it's aggravating keeping them in !!! :P

i'll subtly say it here and there, all over the place to release the pent up annoying emottiiioooooonnnnnnn. until it's fully ready.


"Meeting you was fate. Becoming your friend was by choice. but falling in love with you, i had no control over" -unknown

i didn't :|

jerk >.<

The Hungry....Turtle?!

Mayne... ;) I like Florida. Where else do I see random animals at random times? I get so surprised when I see them here because I never see any outside of a zoo! Now I wonder if that giant turtle was wild or someone's lost pet. Either way, it was ugly as H E double hockey sticks and reaaally creeped me out! I went up to it to see what it was because I couldn't see well from far away. I probably looked like a total freak standing in the middle of the cross walk staring all hard at a turtle, then going down some random street toward it... And, first it was going off in it's own direction, but when I got closer, it veered toward me and started coming my way......... When I moved out of the road to the side walk, it turned back to wear I was and kept moving, too! That's when I saw how ugly it was. It didn't look like any turtle I'd ever seen. That's why I was trying so hard to figure out what it was. And, it moved faster than any turtle I've ever seen...that's why I turned back and went back to my street...knowing I could still move faster than the turtle, no matter how fast it went.... When I was speed-walking out, I saw the trash disposal people lean their heads out the window to look, so I paused and was looking at them to see their reaction, and looking at the turtle to see what it was doing... then they looked at me and said "You scared of that turtle?!" I just grinned and kept on walking, silently relieved that someone confirmed it to be a turtle.... I was still checking over my shoulder repeatedly during the walk home to make sure that Alien Thing wasn't following me... and I'm still not assured! 'Kay, so I totally freaked... that was the weirdest looking thing I've ever seen! I saw no eyes, and the turtle hands didn't look like any I've ever seen before...maybe it was a breed I've never seen. There's got to be loads. But I'll tell you one thing I know for sure... that thing was hungry.

3 1/2 weeks left!!!!

I can't wait until school is over in a few weeks, when I'm free to wear limited amounts of clothing. This hot sun is killing me... Bring on my shorts, bring on my capris!!! where the dresses at? Actually, I could be wearing those now... but I'll have more time to look for it all when school is out. Geez, florida, cut me some slack. Just chill with the sun until June 10th, aight?

Last Night Was One Funky Night

I had another abandonment dream. But first off, I fell asleep at the computer early on in the night. Through out the night i was moving around all throughout the room trying to find spaces to be comfortable and warm... on the floor. My dream left a feeling in me that I had to stay down there and that there was something I had to do. Finally at 1am, the last time I woke up, I pretty much said screw it, got confused, turned all the lights of, and went up to sleep on my top bunk, thinking that I'd already been there at some point. Then, ah, the abandonment dream. My parents were still in Vegas. I was with my sister and brother. We were driving in this SUV and stopped at this place. I left them and other freaky stuff that I can't remember in the dream happened. Then I came back and they were gone. My cell phone was in the van and I had no keys for it, so I was stranded. This woman in the restaurant type place let me use her phone but the number was wrong, she'd called her friend and was talking to him, and the area code was 334 instead of my dads # 678. I just now had to correct myself for almost typing 679. I may have used that in the dream, I hope so, because that will explain things. So, back to the dream. I dialed the number myself and got no answer. I thought I'd gotten no answer because my parents were avoiding me and trying to abandon me. If I just typed the number into the phone incorrectly, then that makes stuff a bit better...but I don't think I did. So, my siblings were gone but our vehicle was still here. For some reason I knew they hadn't gone anywhere on foot, they'd gotten a ride. I had a feeling that my parents had picked them up, taken them, and left me stranded. These girls that i think were from my school offered me a ride. We were just going to find my house and take me there to see if anyone was home. Then we saw my friend Kierra from TAB crossing the street right in front of our car. I yelled for them to stop bc I knew her. She had this weird, sly grin on her face. I said her mom has taken me home dozens of times, she should know how to get to my house. In reality, her mom has only taken me home once, but who cares. I think we tried following her and she would let us catch her. Then I woke up at 6:46 thinking it was late in the day, my parentals would be pissed, I had stuff to do that I was neglecting, and I was going to miss school (came out of that one quick). The end.... funky, right?

I am resolved.

After I hit 18, I am getting a tattoo. I don't think i ever would have given that a second thought, before. I might have even been against them. That's the past, though. I'm thinking maybe this will be a sort of catharsis for me. Or maybe by then I won't need it, or will have forgotten. I don't want to forget. I want to do this. 18th birthday. That's my gift to myself. A release and a reminder. "Words have power." I guess on my back. Shoulder area. I'll be sure to find a good, clean, sterile place with an artist who knows what he/she's doing. And that's that. It'll be with me for life. Maybe I'll regret it when I get older but honestly, WGAF? I need this... I'm sitting here trying to think of a way that I could get this before I turn 18, which is almost a full year away, before I have time to change my mind. I'll just try really hard. I asked Hiram what he thinks about tats just now. As if what he might say will make a difference in my decision. Just a little curious. I know - my body is a temple. But I'm not trashing it up or ruining it. I'm going to do something meaningful to it that will help me. It's not just for decoration..or anything else. My only reason has been vaguely halfway stated...I need this. And if I ever wear a shirt with the shoulder hanging out or even a swimsuit, then maybe someone will see it and it will help them, too.