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Jamie Foxx - Mary Mary Quite Contrary

O Snap!

dag and thats real man.. that song was on fire... can't even say any more... hit me up lets start a discussion...about the song and rihanna's situation.. though I am late lol I didn't feel like bloggin about it... if u want the pic after it happened and u don't have already, hit me up

Dreams

Dreams are very strange and often have deep meanings...sometimes its hard to figure out, especially if you can't remember them. So I'm deciding to keep a dream log so I can remember my dreams a little better and maybe figure out a meaning. So here it goes...guess I'll mark them like this from now on...

Dream 1
Recorded April 12, 2009
At 7:37 AM

First off we were in a house, that kind of switches between a barrier between me and someone elses house. The someone else was a friend of mine and his family. So I was helping the friend clean his house, and we did our laundry respectively, even though there was still somewhat of a barrier at times and we couldn't get to each other to help or into each others houses to help. We needed a laundry basket then managed to fit what looked like a hundred thousand items into the basket but still needed another smaller basket for my stuff and my familes stuff and I managed to fit it all into my basket and the basket kept looking smaller each time I looked at it. Then we walked off and went into this big laundry room. I think for some reason he was still able to walk in my house and touch my belongings but I don't think I was able to touch any of his or go into his side of the house. And if I was, I remember in the dream a nagging feeling that I shouldn’t, cant, or that it wasn't aloud. We ran into both of our family members throughout that part of the dream but I do not remember much or dialogue except for jr popping his head in and asking where are we off to or what are we doing. Next in the dream we were all at some fun place, supposedly on a boat but sometimes transitioned into being outside like a mall, and sometimes transitioned into being a theme park. (This is the first dream that I cannot recall alex and lexi, especially lexi being featured in.) We went into a ride that was a sit down one where the seats moved with the show you watched, but it kind of looked like a movie theater. The show was rugrats. I sat in a seat but didn’t like it because It didn’t have bars in front of it like jr's and dees did. Tootie and whoever her guest was at the moment either didn’t come in at all or didn’t come in for a long time, but they were out there when we left. So I asked dee and jr to move down. Earlier I wanted to ask jr to move into the seat that was on the other side of me so I would be in the middle of them, because I hate being left on the edge, feeling exposed, and even in waking life I always ask him or someone else, anyone else to move to that side, but in the dream I just ignored the feeling and left him where he was. Then as the show was going on our seats moved a little but mine would move the most and I would move all across the theater and over peoples heads and up to the front, like it was supposed to do that and no one had a problem with that. At first dee and jr's seats moved with me everywear and we tried to keep our feet from touching the people in the theater, then it just seemed to be my seat going back and forth and all across the theater. It was so relaxing that I fell asleep in the dream. Then when the theater show was over I woke up and we went outside of the ride. Dee said she wanted to stop at a chocolate place that she had stopped at before went into the theater. I walked in with her then all of a sudden she wasn’t there, I walked out and she was giving money to tootie with a mean look on her face though she had been talking about tootie the whole time. I asked tootie if we could go back and I could get money and another card thing from mommy and daddy, they were with auntie shayla uncle lomax and grandma in this place that might have been a casino idk. Tootie was being mean so dee and jr and I left her and trenice or her and sam… the person changed between those two, often. We found our parents then took a card that gets food. We crossed through the waters, dee thought she saw a leech I swam and screamed and swam and they kept coming after me so I was getting away but the creatures of the water didn’t like my screaming, the screaming sounded like the dolphins, they sounded angry as they chased me, I got away then was holding onto a floaty and shamu kept biting at it trying to get me but didn’t get me from underneath it yet… shamu was still chasing me as I got onto one platform that had the center missing so he could get through, then one platform I couldn't get onto, then I got onto a floating trampoline and woke up.

Joke

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."

A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden."

The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."


I sure do love laughter =D

A haiku about Monsters vs. Aliens

I saw half the film

What I saw was really good

I must watch again.

Music + Writing = Passion

My writing has begun to feel like a chore so, it was suggested to me that I find something else to do in my free time to get my mind off of writing and then come back to it when I'm ready.. then I realized there are plenty of things I could be doing, and that I should never be bored. I have a clarinet and I'm not so good at playing it, so why not learn more at it...and I have a sewing machine so I could get back into sewing things. My brother also has keyboards...so why should I not get back into playing the piano? So I'm going to start with music... Re-learn how to play the clarinet, and practice the piano at the same time. A friend of mine told me to learn how to play by ear first, because I was starting with learning music notes, for my clarinet. It's really hard to play a clarinet if you don't know music notes, because the only songs I know are in my books, and I want to just be able to open up the book to a page and play a song... But the playing it by ear thing seemed like a good idea so I'm going to do that, thanks to my friend for that. Also thanks to him for finding that expert village thing for me and that fingering chart. So right now I'm playing by ear, and learning how to play ode to joy on the keyboard... then I'm going to try it out on my clarinet =D hopefully i can get back some inspiration to write some more... When I feel comfortable with my music I'm going to get back into sewing... who says I only have to have one hobby?

Verses

I feel like i've been regressing. I've been back at some of the same old bad habits I should be through with by now. So I'm letting pieces of that old life fall to the waste side.. to make room for the new one...pretty soon that old one will be completely gone. I feel like I've been regressing because I haven't been worshipping very hard...yes I pray every chance I get...but much lately I haven't read the word... and I've been really busy lately is not a good excuse... You are never be to busy to make time for God in your life. If there is not something taking up every single hour minute and second of your day, then you most definately have time. So I'm getting back on it... And its enjoyable, if you read this don't think of me thinking of reading the Word as a chore... it's enjoyable for me, and I enjoy getting to know God better and reading the stories... and I wonder how I could ever be so bored reading it when I was younger...and I feel a little sorry for that younger me... If younger me had appreciated the Word back then like I do now... I'd probably know some stories by heart =/ Well anyway the point was that I wanted to share some verses that I'm reading right now, with the reader... I'm not typing them all out, you can find them in your own Bible or type them into google... even if it isn't your cup of tea, still just try to read it... I'm not converting anyone I'm just spreading some good Word...and these ones happen to be really good (:

Exodus 19:16-21

Matthew 23:13-39

Psalm 28:1-9

Proverbs 7:1-5

ohkay so these ones I WILL type out:

You don't have to decide."

-paul

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, That ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Colossians 4:6 KJV

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

James 1:17/ KJV

Not these ones though:

READ: Leviticus 15:1–16:28; Mark 7:1–23; Psalm 40:11–17; Proverbs 10:13–14

READ: Deuteronomy 33:1-29; Luke 13:1-22; Psalm 78:59-72; Proverbs 12:25

Ummm enjoy the word, and if you do already... Keep strong in your love for God. Next post I'm going to talk about my view on religion... and not just my own branch of faith. And I may surprise you... Remember I'm not judging you or anyone else on your character or beliefs... so please, try not to judge me on mine =/

Things dwelt upon become more depressing over time,

Forgive and forget. Live and let live. Those are words that are hard to live by. Yet you are still supposed to. I'm trying. Not for others, for myself. If I can't forgive others for what they have done to me, how can I forgive myself for what I've done to them? So as not to dwell in the past I won't repeat events that have come to pass. I'll just let them go. but it is extremely hard. So... these last couple of weeks must be spent alone, focusing on myself instead of others. Maybe I got through to one... maybe not. But why spend time getting close to people when all they do is constantly try to hurt you. Who would want to be around that type of person, who just doesn't seem to care that they hurt you, just doesn't think about the words that they say to and about you, but oh because they weren't trying to offend you, it wasn't supposed to. It's your own fault that you got offended, not theirs for not considering your feelings. Well......who am I kidding...some people you just cannot change. They continue hurt you whether they say they mean to or not, they are going to do what they are going to do. Thats not the life I want to lead, and I refuse to surround myself with people who lead their lives that way too. Seeing as how there is no one in my family i can truly be around with out getting hurt, used, or manipulated. Then I will live the remainder of time I have to spend with them, in my own solitude. I know that you can't run from your problems but what can you do when your problems run you everyday and you have no piece of mind no.... no anything? It was said to me before to remove the people from your life that don't seem fit to be there... but what can you do when those people are your own family? Always with the drama. Just spend my time alone until I can get away is all I can do. All I will do.

How can I learn to read music?

....For free....I used to be able to do it very accurately but I stopped playing the clarinet in 6th grade then I lost it. My parents bought me another one last year, And I'm having a difficult time learning how to read the musical notes, and remembering how to play the clarinet. I figured I would start back up with this as a hobby, to get my mind off of writing. Writing is my passion, and I'm writing a story, but I seem to be in a stump right now. The story is starting to feel like a chore. So I would like to get my mind on some other things right now. I have a sewing machine and things to sew with and I have a clarinet that needs playing. Two perfectly good hobbies right there so the search is over. I'm going to start with the music, as music is my second passion =/ . So if anyone could please provide help as to how I can re-learn the musical notes, and re-learn how to play the clarinet I would honestly be in debt to you, I've been wanting to...re-learn...how to play for some time now but things have been extremely hectic lately, now that my parents are gone for a little while, I figure I have some time to myself to learn this better. Thanks in advance to all of those who provide help (:

constant pain is a result of my ultimate clumsiness <3

In... every way imaginable, why do people always want what they cannot have? Why can they not be happy with what they were given? Why do people always want 'just a little bit more'... Just because I ask does not mean I'm excluded from this list. Our vices and virtues spawn our whole characters. Why do I want the things I want, when wanting them only causes more pain? Aah constant pain, emotional... physical...? My body often betrays me in ineptitude as much as my emotions do in idiocy. I'm so very clumsy in every way possible... Yet I can't help but feel =/ But...I have the constant nagging feeling, and just know that about this one thing I must be right. Nothing will come of what I feel for this gent, so it's best left kept to myself. Nothing good at least. Though the loss of a comrade could result. but are we even considered friends either way? All the more reason to keep my big mouth shut =D .... Really, sometimes I can't hold water, but when I'm drinking it, I won't spill... Aah patience is a virtue.

Oy Vey

My memory is so inconvenient. I forgot all too easily, and remember when nothing matters anymore. And then I remember certain things from a long time ago...like insignificant things that no one else seems to remember...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Stuff is complicated, confusing....and messed up... Yet that's the way its SUPPOSED to be. If everything were just easy to figure out, understand and reach then the world would be a pretty boring place wouldn't it??? AAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to scream and rip out my stupid and foolish heart... It keeps trying to screw me over and it's all I can do to ignore it.... Why should I have to ignore it??? Why can't it just behave for once???????? Someone shoot me, if you please...maybe just once in the big toe, that might do it. But is it really my heart or is it my mind, or soul?? Is the heart not just a vessel that keeps blood flowing throughout the body? Well whatever the case, whatever is forcing me to feel, I want it to be damned. To stop betraying me. I don't want to feel. At least not that feeling. Love. Love is a son of hctib. But then, what would a world be like without love? A bunch of me's walking around? Ahh it makes me miserable because there's nothing I can do. Stupid emotions are betraying me. Why these hsi-elohssa emotions bring me to this one person I don't even understand. The question I continue to ask myself is why him...what reason, but does love need reason??? I've never seen one example anywhere, where love has reason, even in the best match, they were just matched, no explanations...sometimes there were good reasons as to why they love that person but thats decision love, and is that true? Aah loves a hateful bitch... I don't want to feel this emotion right now, with this person. It's making me hurt.....because nothing will come of it. My idiotic stupid asshole-ish foolish heart.

Sigh

Aah, the subject of love. This has really been bugging me for a good minute now. I can admit that I've always wanted it, every little girl's dream to be rescued by Prince Charming... but I've never questioned it until recently. And I wonder why. I have all these questions that no one can answer, which just leads me to more questions. All I really want, I guess is to know love better, recognize a feeling I'm not so sure about. I guess. How can people really know that they are in love? What does it look and feel like?? Who came up with the symbol for the heart, and why does it symbolize love? heart's don't look like that. How are emotions connected to your heart? Like when something hurts really bad or makes u really happy...and various other emotions...you kind of feel it in your heart. that has to do with the bloog pumping right? if not what? i don't really want logical answers here so just ignore that about the blood pumping, i wanna know how whoever is reading this feels about the topic, what they truly believe......... Why do some people not disconnect the two feelings of lust and love? Are they able to? Why do people feel love? Is it something someone decides? Is it a genuine bonafide emotion? How do they recognize it?... I'm so full of questions that no one could possibly answer accurately. You may think you know but how do you really...? It could only be what you believe. But I welcome opinions, thoughts, reflections, more questions warmly. I welcome them warmly. But I've still got more. What kind of love is worth loving if it isn't returned? Why do people love people who don't love them back? Why do people love people who can't love them back? Why do we hurt the ones we love? Why do we hurt ourselves with love. In the words of soulful singer Jazmine Sullivan...Why do we love love, when love seems to hate us? Love seems to hate me...maybe I'm too young? But I see people everywhere my age with their own special loves. I hate to admit that I'm jealous, that I feel unlovable...maybe destined to live the spinster life? But... in the words of Diana Ross - you can't hurry love. I've heard that from her since I was a little child. So patience is a virtue. What is the difference between love and a crush? Is there such a thing as a hard, passionate...fervent crush? How is it that you are able to love a friend so strongly, but not able to let them no or show him? How does a fear of rejection beat out such a strong love? Fear of loss of a good friendship... How does one know what they feel for this friend is really a love and not a mere infatuation???? What really is love...? What really is an infatuation? What makes someone love someone? How can someone love you if you at first don't love yourself? Can a love still be true if its unreturned? Why do some love some that they can not even reach? How can Someone love Someoneelse not knowing if that Someonelse loves them back? Not wanting to know incase they answer is negative, their love is unreturned? Are there some that never find love at all? and why? Why am I even asking all these questions of love? Knowing that I'll never get one answer. Because love just doesn't seem to be something one can explain...or even know... It's painful. I know that much.

Briology

Let others know a little more about yourself, re- post this as your
name followed by "ology" and tag ten people.

FOODOLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice??

x. lite ranch, i guess or thousand island

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?

x. don't really have one...i do love that bread at red lobster though...and when I was little it was Golden Coral

What food could you eat everyday for two weeks and not get sick of?

x. Thats a thinker....smoothie i guess...though thats really more of a drink than food...it fills you up just the same =D

What are your pizza toppings of choice?

x. Pepperoni, Sausage, Ham, Bacon...you know... the typical meat lovers pizza

Chocolate or Vanilla?
x. vanilla...I get sick if I eat too much chocolate...plus chocolate flavored stuff just bothers me...

TECHNOLOGY

How many televisions are in your house?

x. Mmm..come find out =]

Do you have a laptop?

x. Mhm

Do you have a desktop?

x. Gave it to my sister when her laptop crashed

Do you have an MP3 player?

x. Yah

What is your favorite piece of technology currently?

x. Not to big on favoritism.. If I had to chose, I guess the internet... so much free stuff...yes sometimes I'm cheap...but not as cheap as Jr who is often stingy with MY money...

BIOLOGY

Are you right - handed or left- handed?

x. I'm a righty

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

x. Teeth...a carrot...but that's a story for another time..dunno if my nose can take a revisit XD

What is the last heavy item you lifted?

x. Idr...Lexi, Alex? They aren't that heavy though... I know there was something else but I can't remember

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

x. Nope! Though I did hit my head a lot when I was younger...wouldn't be surprised if I knocked off a few IQ points...

STUFFOLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

x. NOPE

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

x. I used to want to change my name but that was a bit childish...

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

x. No...

DUMBOLOGY

How many pairs of flip flops do you have?

x. 2

Last time you had a run- in with the cops?

x. Not that I was in trouble or anything but a few months ago

Last person you talked to?

x. a friend.

Last person you hugged?
x. most likely my brother...if not then my mom... but if it was my mom that was 5 days ago

FAVOURITOLOGY

Season?
x. N/A

Holiday?
x. N/A

Day of the week?
x. if I'm in school then Friday, if not then Sunday

Month?

x. N/A

CURRENTOLOGY

Missing anyone?
x. Not really hard because they haven't been gone for too long, but my parents.

Mood?
x. Moods ever-changing...

What are you listening to?

x. Family Matters...

Watching?
x. The computer screen I guess... and Family Matters...

RANDOMOLOGY

First place you went this morning?

x. Probably had to pee when I woke up so... Bathroom...

What's the last movie you saw?

x. Dragonball... it sucked monkey butt...

Do you smile often?
x. Yes, When I'm happy. When I'm not happy it's visible but it's hard for people to accurately guess what I'm feeling by looking at my face.... They always get it wrong...Like my grandma and aunt always think I'm mad when I'm really tired and have just woken up or really need/want to go to sleep...or when my face is just blank..they'll think i'm mad because I'm not smiling...So I guess that means I must smile a lot.

Do you always answer your phone?

x. Not until recently... IDK when I got into the habit of answering doors and phones for ppl...

Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?

x. Some fool who got the crazy idea in their head that its alright to text me at four in the morning...or Some fool who thought I would even answer....

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
x. Brown is fine with me, I like my eyes

Do you own a digital camera?

x. Nope.

Have you ever had a pet fish?

x. Yah Yah!

Favorite Christmas song(s)?
x. Uh Uh...

What's on your wish list for your birthday?

x. Not to celebrate my birthday.

Can you do push ups?

x. Yah Yah!

Can you do a chin up?

x. Well if you mean A when you say a then yeah...lol never tested it out if I could do more actually though...

Does the future make you nervous or excited?

x. Both

Do you have any saved texts?

x. I dont really care to delete them unless im on a cleaning spree or dont want some secret spy to see something...

Ever been in a car wreck?

x. Not any bad ones

Do you have an accent?

x. Mmm I hope not...my dad says I sound country when I speak spanish..and my friend says I sound country when I get loud and mad... and sometimes I hear a little country slip out...

What is the last song to make you cry?

x. I don't think I've ever cried over a song...none's ever really related to exactly what I'm feeling.....ehh idk... i dont really know how that sort of thing works.... mmm sometimes a movie might make me cry....like a little eye watering....didnt used to happen before....

**Revise** I'm just now remembering that song by India.Arie - This too Shall Pass made me cry...yeah I connected with it a lil bit...

Plans tonight?
x. Nope

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
x. Yes but I'll find my way back up

Have you ever been given roses?

x. No...

Current hate right now?
x. Life is too short to spend your time hating things and people and places... Having hatred is only commiting murder in your heart. Let forgiveness set you free (:

Met someone who changed your life?

x. Plenty of someone's...Christ for example?

How did you bring in the New Years?

x. um...I remember that I didn't know it was new years... then I think we must have counted it down or something...it wasn't that important so I don't think we did much...plus if the new year was important I'd remember it a little better.

Name 3 people who might complete this?

x. idk...

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

x. Yes, and correct all the wrong I've done

Do you have any tattoos/ piercings?

x. No tattoos. Ever. Got my ears pierced though...had a second set of hole's but they closed up... then I repierced them with an earing and they closed up again...my first hole's closed up many times and my mom always jabbed the hole back open with another earing when I was little...

Does anyone love you?
x. My family I guess

Would you be a pirate?

x. Nah

What songs do you sing in the shower?

x. I don't really sing int the shower too much... if I do it's whatever song comes to mind...basically off my regular playlist of songs...

Ever had someone sing to you?
x. No.

Do you like to cuddle?
x. Idk... sometimes I'm a hugger... Sometimes I stray away from physical contact...I'm a waffler.. I like to waffle???

Have you held hands with anyone today?
x. No.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?

x. Me I guess...if u count that...if not, my family while we were on the cruise

What kind of music did you listen to in Primary school?

x. You mean elementary school? When I was younger...younger ppl songs... My music got more mainstream around 3rd grade

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?

x. its complicated but mostly old

Do you like pulpy orange juice?

x. No.

Have you ever ridden an elephant?

x. I think so...IDR... I remember riding so weird animals at this zoo...not weird just unexpected but it was years ago.. i think i remember an elephant and a giraffe

Do you like to play Scrabble?

x. Neither do or don't

When was the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?

x. idr..it was long ago...

What were you doing at 12 AM last night?

x. talking and watching dragonball...and talking about how bad it sucked...i wanted to shoot piccolo's big head...

When I Wake Up My Hair Looks Like Spiders

I'm a kind of weird person, that often has extra time on their hands. Sometimes I like to blog. Not expecting anyone to read it but just to do it. (But hey if you do read it, more power to yuh.) The blog is just kind of like a journal I guess... I mean I can't express every thought to everyone... Though sometimes I do express a good amount (tehe). But I guess, if there is any point at all to this post right here, that the point is...well uh... Nah nahhh there's no point Lol! I went in typing this blog thinking I was going to explain to...whoever reads this mess... A little bit more about myself... I guess there's no reason why I still can't do that...

The Title: When I wake up my hair looks like spiders... That's pretty self explanatory.
I also often have wardrobe malfunctions in my sleep if I'm wearing a certain kind of shirt lol... I...guess I am a pretty wild sleeper...I often move around. A Lot. Once I was sleeping on the floor, and Dorian was playing video games, the cord was long and stretched out over me. And then Dorian woke me up and I saw I had the cords wrapped this weird way around my neck. Perfect example of wild sleeping? I've got this weird sleeping pattern too. All of a sudden, after moving to Cali for those months, I am able to stay up late into the night, and on some nights, well into the next day, only going to sleep because there was nothing better to do. Then we came back to Alabama. I guess it was just jet lag but when I came home all I wanted to do was sleep! And when I find myself staying up late into the night I'm actually getting sleepy... Soooo weird. One night in Cali I had only decided to go to sleep at 2am and that didn't seem so late, but I found myself asleep (without waking up during that sleep - I'll explain in a sec) until 5 pm the next day! And weirder yet, if I'm not DOG TIRED then I hear what's going on in my sleep and it incorporates itself into my dreams. How do I know that you ask? Because if you wake up often during sleep you remember your dreams better. Do I try to wake myself up often? NO I just wake up. A Lot. Sometimes to new voices, new sounds, new light, new movement... Sometimes just to wake up. Weird sleeping patterns? They constantly change. OHKAY! There's plenty of stuff about me that you wouldn't know even if you thought you know me very well. But still some of the stuff I might say, might not be news to those who know me. I'm not sure I can quote everything about me top of the dome and be accurate too... Well that's another thing about me.. I'm often insecure...maybe a little too self-conscious but aren't we all to some degree? Sometimes I'm a worry wart and sometimes I just can't flat out give a damn... Flip flopping? I guess I do that sometimes... I'm very indecisive. I don't try to be I just am. I often don't like to make the choices if it's not required of me. It's stupid stuff like which movie to watch, or food to eat, or place to go, or what ever. Don't get me wrong though, when it matters that's when I'm there.. No one's gonna mess up my life! And sometimes I get distracted easily. like right now for instance. I was running around the house doing all kinds of stuff then I started cleaning and remembered I was blogging. But now I don't feel like it anymore so I'm gonna hang up this blog for now (: