Congrats to me!...AGAIN! (1st anniversary)

Today is the one year anniversary of my blog! I love you, baby. (Overdid it?)

Welp! I shall tell you the story, of my first blog. It was one year ago today, that I made this page. It has undergone many layout, URL, post and content changes. But, it has always been all about me. :D I'd just started home school. It was several months after we moved to California for a little while. On the drive up, my mother and I decided we would blog our travel experiences. It was a long drive, Georgia to Cali. There was no internet, of course. So, we wrote in note pad. That lasted all of a day for me. I had maybe two entries. I think my mom actually wrote a lot though. Alas, we never made web blogs when we reached our destination. Until that one fateful day, December 30th, 2008. I was bored... wanted to journal... had nothing else to do with my time besides this. So I went for it. And posted like freaking crazy. Spilled my guts..often deleted when I did...and eventually even got followers; a tiny, baby sized, handful of followers...and readers. You!

Thanks for reading =]

Today is the 1st Anniversary of.... Well, I can't exactly say Mariposa, Freed...because it hasn't always been that... so... I'll say....

Today is the 1st Anniversary of.... The Secret Spillings of Bri

'Cause...that's what it is. I've shared with this box - this inanimate object, this web page - more than I have with any person. I've gotten so much off my chest without the risk of having anyone look at me differently... (aside from..well, if person reads this, he knows he sort of counts as the exception.) whether i've deleted it or not, it's helped a lot! That's it for now I guess =)

Happy Anniversary to me and...bloggy

How were your holidays?

Although, I highly doubt anyone will answer this, I still felt like asking.

Mine were really cool, and yet a hot mess all at the same time.

Nothing really went according to plan, and when I think about it I ask myself, "....What plan?" It was just a big jumble of... spontaneity, I guess.

I mean, we decided to go to alabama at the last minute. Grannie aint getting any younger. Had to see her. I was gonna finally see my person... that was a bust lmao. I went to a basketball game with my cousins, sister, and her boyfriend...well it was a series of games. Chicks was hating... on my sister. It was ridiculous. People will act stupid towards someone they don't even know. After a minute it got pretty old. They got shut down though. That's what happens...in small country town, Ozark, Alabama... all they have to do down there is eat, sex, have babies, cause drama/gossip, and get in different sorts of trouble... you can imagine. So, you're a female, a good looking one at that and get around some other females down there.... all you're gonna have is problems whether they're good looking or not. They weren't. lol

Man it was trippy... first it was the girls in the beginning... later that night some completely random chicks...and that was the cause of a white girl throwing paper at us then junk started with those girls. I won't even get into my feelings on that matter or he cause of it, not at risk of offending people, but at risk of getting carpel tunnel....and burning out the readers eyes.

Actually got to visit the person... yeah i don't think i'll say my person anymore... i don't really...stuff...bothering... i dont know, what ever. so I visited that person...all late..and upset..and the visit lasted 5 minutes...we walked to the back to get some books, my dad was trailing us the whole time. lmao now that was funny...freaking co-ops mess. he went unseen. no, really. he was practically invisible. I was looking around for him every step of the way, saw nothing. ridiculous. then we had to leave... i messed up stuff with the visit... made it awkward... messed up stuff before that.

man, i am the biggest screw up you'll ever meet! Not even for the visit (already past that one, who cares) but everything! even the littlest things. I just keep messing up... small things. So small, that it's only noticeable to me that I'm a screw up... if anyone else notices it, they choose to say otherwise... let me mess up on something big...they'll see... Lmao, I'm just a clutz! In every possible way.

It's funny, actually :^D
'Specially the way my thoughts plague me and won't leave me alone after I've messed up!!!!! Hah, just kidding(am i?)

Yeah anyways...that was the day after christmas. that visit. erm... we were supposed to leave then, but my parents were to tired. so we stayed and slept. we were leaving the next morning but we got a call from my grannie. my aunt had a stroke, so we rode back. they dropped us off, my parents to dear grannie to the hospital... later on my aunts kids showed up and we older ones watched the littles.they were at the hospital all day, sometimes back and forth...people were coming out the wood works to be with her...she didn't need that though.... but i can't get into that. we stayed one more day, then left some time yesterday...got home at night...soon as we reached town we got a call that things were a bit worse. or something... midline shift... pressure in brain increasing... but going there wouldn't help. only make things worse...so my parents stayed... more screw ups from me followed...then sleep and now i'm cleaning my room, getting ready to finish my school reviews and pinata, then let loose on those christmas presents. you know, set them up and stuff... that's pretty much it. yaaay.

I like learning

I just learned some good stuff today.


"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you ever be polished?"

That for one. Then there was a bunch of other stuff this morning too. It's really more about me, my personal flaws - MAJOR FLAWS - and how to fix em, and so I don't really need to or feel like putting it up here. I'm just gonna keep it in my knowledge bank. Things Acquired. -That's the name of the bank ;D

Yup!

Gotta work on me. Lots to do... I'll never be quite...fully polished...but I'ma shine one day!

If you find the time, add Nikki Madison to your prayer list...

Could you maybe pray for my aunt? She had a stroke recently, at a very young age. She's going into surgery tomorrow. I'm afraid that all my extended family down there are only making things worse. They're adding stress and causing scenes... she needs to be taken care of but everyone is making her having a stroke about ...themselves. It's a small town. They act as though her health problem is just the next piece of drama and juicy gossip. My parents have done all they can, but can't seem to get through to my family... please pray?

kcuF it!

UGH! Finally get folks out the house so I can do my present but nothing freaking works.

I wanted to do something nice for my parents, they seem to want to hear me sing, right?! So i think, hey! CHRISTMAS! There's a present for 'em =O!!!!

I mean, i can't get them jackshit else anyways!!!!


So a bunch of crap just ends up not freaking working at all, and when I'm resolved and have figured out how to make it work, and decided to stay on the same song, i can't freaking singing it right anymore!! MY VOICE, EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!!! IS SO FREAKING INCONSISTENT!!! !ARGHIFGOLUHIGFKJSDKGJFD>JHFDKGJLFJKDHLGKJH

that's some ol bull.

Writing

I really need to start back doing it. I've been walking around like a zombie, I think. Time to regain my essence. I always felt more fulfilled when writing, so back at it again, I am. <--- Yoda speak?

I just realized a problem, though, but it makes it more exciting for me to start writing again.

I have a lot of work to do!

I looked of the first(second) draft I did of that story, and it's putrid garbage. I'm entirely rewriting it.

The part I wrote in my notebook that I'm about to put on my computer is a little bit better, I think. But I'm going to keep on working on that part and change crap so it's actually something worth reading. But that beginning I have... Purely terrible. I think I will take a few elements from it, though... The part about the whole ... well ...I won't put it up here - unless someone's interested! Ha, yeah right. Still, I had that other idea that would be entertaining for readers as well as help for me too continue writing. I should get to that eventually.


On another note...
I think that I made a mistake... this is the third time I've changed my URL. I know that when a URL is changed, it doesn't show up on that front page when they have new posts... hmm. *Going to fix this*

J.R.

Feel like I'm losing my best friend. Ahh well. Summer, 2010. Be somewhat back to normal, but we all have gotta start our lives eventually, though.


My brother ships out Tuesday for the Air Force! I'm very proud and happy for him =]

Go off to be a grown up, dear brother! Please stay out of trouble....... or I keel you >:D

Love lots, love much! Miss you, but not so much that I want to hinder you from creating a life for yourself =o

Above all have fun! Don't lose your self >.>...

I promise to write frequently, all the while not embarrassing you in front of your... air...force-y... people XD

Live your life =]

Longwinded on mind for 5min.

A friend managed to get me to check out Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes. I was more than iffy about it, especially having already stated that it is not the kind of book I like to read... but still I got it. I almost returned it at the end of the day but ended up keeping it because my teacher told me it was a good book and I should read it... Still iffy, there. Then I realized that's exactly the type of thing I hate to do, be pressured by people to do something I don't want, even reading a book. Bandwagon jumping. Not my thing. Neither is this type of book. Who's denying that it's an ace book? Not me. I'm just simply uninterested. There is enough tragedy in the world, life and even sometimes my own to surrounding me and everyone else. So no need to be unnecessarily immersed in the hardships of the life of someone else.

When I read, I am escaping tragedy and hardships everything else in life. I don't read to be thrown back into it. Just so I can say, "Oh yeah, I read that book by Frank McCourt. So sad. So moving." Yeah, I bet it is but I don't intend to find out. I should have just taken it back to the library at the end of school like I was going to, but I didn't want to disappoint my friend. I must have forgotten the song that I made today to the theme of some other widely known song that I can't recall... something about something that "ain't what [she] used to be" or what ever...

It goes a little something like this...

I just discovered that I don't really give a crap... I don't really give a crap... I don't really give a crap

That's as far as I've gotten though. :/ I just repeat it and it constitutes for a song. Well anyways, yeah. I regret having to hang on to this book for the weekend, although it's just sitting on myself. I just want it out of my house. To me it's starting to seem like a symbol of oppression and conformity! How, though? That makes no sense at all lol. Welp, I'm going to stick to books I like to read and read only because it's something that fits me and my personality, not because it's something other people recommend. What others recommend ain't always the best for you. Yeah, me and this friend have completely different reading styles, I realized a long time ago. I don't think she has yet, though!

Yes, so as I have said. I have enough tragedy to sustain me from the world and lives around me. Let's not even forget the past. Man, that's full of it. I can read the tragedy of McCourt's past, or I can remember my own and remember that of my people and what we and others all of the world continue to go through today. Not everyone gets the opportunity for this possible catharsis like McCourt did. So, blessed he was.

I just thought about this a minute ago and decided to post it.