Silence.[read this. go on, it's ok] ;)

No matter what kind you're apart of, friendship...relationship, either way, you're supposed to enjoy it to the fullest, through all ups, downs, ins and outs. No matter what. If it's true, you work through it. You have to stop being so defensive and sensitive, because life is too short for all that. Choose your battles and keep it moving.-Samantha Nicole Wilson via someone else

These wise words from some random person I don't know made me realize how incredibly defensive and sensitive I am... Life is really all too short for that. One more mistake like the one I just made and he might be gone...but all I could say for that is,

"Oh well.... that's me. Take or leave it."

Through a misunderstanding I might have just really hurt the feelings of some i really care about. All I do is make mistakes...but I'm not going to sit and cry about it... I'm too used to it... I'm sick and tired of hating who I am and trying to change every detail and aspect about me! Mostly, 'cause it never DAMN works. lmao... Best way for me to NOT hurt people is silence. It's golden. Yes, I'm that much of a disaster. I've been trying to watch what I say and do, but the shit doesn't work 'cause I'm always doing something wrong so... I choose silence :) Except for when it comes to somebody disrespecting me. I'm getting tired of that shit, and there will be no silence when it comes to that. Someone will get a mouthful and if it comes to it, a fist full. I don't even care anymore. In that respect, I'm not always going to be watching out for people and making sure I don't hurt them even though they've already hurt me. And I'm sick and fucking tired of people thinking they know me so well...

you may know me better than anybody else but you don't know me as well as I do.

This post seems to have taken a different turn... but back to the main focus... life is too short to be catching feelings. I'm done! Again... hopefully this will last. I'ma do my best to stop getting so defensive over everything...and stop being so sensitive, assuming angry words are directed at me...even if they REALLY REALLY REALLY sound like they're directed at me....

from now on, it only matters if you say it to me, personally....

so if your feelings are hurt, and you want to get a message across...fuck it 'cause I'm closing my eyes to it until you say something to me. The only lines I'll be reading between are going to be in an actual book from this day...'cause if you don't do it right, that shit gets you into trouble :D

I've realized I've already begun detaching myself from certain things interrupting my life... starting not to care so much. Mostly the drama. You know? But if I've already started, the rest will be a hell of a lot easier.

Withdraaww.. .