"You know what really grinds my gears?" PT. 2

Here is the last thing that really grinds my gears. My appearance. Not like that, don't get me wrong. I love ME exactly the way I am... What bothers me is not how I look to myself, but how people take in how i look >.
Stating that, I'm going to go ahead and say what I didn't really want to say. I was thinking... I look so young, people (boys) might not like me because I look like I'm too young for them or something, and then I'm over here looking young AND sitting in the freshmen section... Now here is why that doesn't matter to me anyways, and why I'm sort of torn that maybe it MIGHT in fact matter.... okay that was a bit confusing so I'll just explain it...

I'll start with why it might matter, because why it doesn't matter is kind of long, and this is an edit (i already wrote why it doesn't matter) so why it might matter is because i might be wasting my time with why it doesn't matter, or i could be helping it out with why it doesn't matter, if it did matter. That probably makes no sense, but I don't wish to go into further detail... Here is why it doesn't matter... Even if my reason for why it doesn't matter turns out to be.... in vain(?)... I still wouldn't trade it and try to shoot for why it might matter (sorry for not making sense...just venting, I guess). My feelings for why it doesn't matter are two strong, I guess...? Oh boy... now I'm not even making sense to myself...sorry :3

Why it DOESN'T matter to me is because I'm not checking for these boys at this school... I'll misquote my sister. I kept my heart in my wallet and he pick-pocketed it. My eyes have been caught, i guess? I'm walking around this school looking at faces, and examining personalities, and trying to hope some kind of feeling would arise for maybe SOMEONE... granted, these faces are nice to look at (daaaaaaaannng these boys are FOINE) but that's all they are... Pretty faces, and its hard for me to imagine that there is something pleasant underneath that I could grow to like in a romantic sort of way, and its extremely hard for me to even think of a possibility that I could ever love one of them... LOL

Yeah some fool already screwed me up on that one, which makes me sort of angry at that fool, and especially myself... Click this link, you may like what you find, or at least be entertained for 2 minutes, or however long it takes you to read it

also... my parents are cleaning this oil stained carpet - another story, not sure if I told it yet...ask me if you want me to - and the cleaning product is literally killingg me. bout to open up a window, foreal! nah im not... im too lazy... i'll probably sit here and die... or get some extreme...bodily damage....... i should probably go open that window...