What's with 17???

I've got 17 followers... I've got 17 days....what a coincidence. I wonder what is up with 17.

Well. I've got 17 days until I start school. I was in home school for my sophmore year, minus one month. Travel nursing parents. We're all good now though. Settled I hope. I say I'm not moving again but what can I do if we do? Nothing lmao.

So....I've got 17 days until I can get in school. I'm going to fill up my time with so much work and as many new people as I can possibly fit, annnnd hopefully a job as well so there is no time left for me to realize I don't have a life. And then maybe I actually will have a life. Maybe, I'll have created one by then. That'd be awesome. 17 days, count down with me. (<3) feels like my life. That aint good XD

I shouldn't be depending on someone...needing someone... Sure (<3) is really close to me and apparently doesn't want to lose me but its not what I want it to be (how do I know? I'm guessing). You know they say if you love something and let it go, if it doesn't come back to you it was never yours to begin with... I wasn't even thinking about that phrase when I tried to let (<3) go... But (<3) came back. (Does it count for that situation?) I don't understand why I don't believe its possible for anyone least of all (<3) to love me... Buuut I don't =o!

Oh well. I'll work on it. I don't want to try and let (<3) go this time. I couldn't take it xD plus...there is the off chance that maybe (<3) won't come back =o. So... I'll endure it. I'd rather have (<3) in my life where we're at than not at all =o.... There will be others though I don't want them to...I'll just have to get it out of my mind so I don't let my feelings for (<3) get in the way of future relationships. Right about now it feels like no one can compare to (<3). No one will ever measure up. It feels like (<3) is the only one for me, made specifically for me but what the hell do I know? I just have to get over that. I'm a strong person in every way. I don't specifically want to get rid of it even if it isn't returned. I don't want to feel this way for any other and I don't think I ever will lol (but who knows right? stuff happens. I'm young). I'll speak more about this later without being so darned vague. Buuut it won't be on this blog. So if you've read about what I said earlier then email me about it. Ask and you shall receive.

~LOVEpeace&hApPiNeSs~


crapola.

I don't want it to be just like this. its like all or nothing...what can i do though... wait til i can't take it anymore XD and thenn let (<3) go again, but this time for good. no more talks and then we're back to being how we were...just friends... i can't take much of that but...patience is the key. I just wish that if it is returned (<3) would at least let me know. (<3) knows who he is if he's sneaking and reading this blog. so (<3), love me or let me go. Let me know if your heart is mine so i don't have to live life wondering and being miserable. If i had a dose of reality and just knew the answer was a complete no... it'd hurt like hell...but it'd help me to get over it a bit. (<3), you say you care but if you did you would spare me this mess and get over with it. don't use a dull axe just whack me off with the guillotine.